20 Days off

Believe it or not I took 20 days off. I am starting to think those were 20 days of my life I missed.

In that time I went to my pdoc and got Lexipro. I am feeling how I did 10 years ago without medicaiton. Extremely depressed. I don't know what Lexipro is going to do. We will see.

I haven't done everything I said I was going to do but I may as well have. I spend no time on things I used to spend time on. My "business" is to me gone. I would cancel my web hosting for my other site but I am too lazy. In reality everything is the same except I no longer think about it. I don't believe in myself anymore.

I just kind of gave up on everything. Did it make me feel any better? No.

I have since decided many times to work towards feeling better only to be met at the door by extreme depression. Pain. Suffering. Misery. It's like a big scary wall.

So am I back?

I don't know. I just read a comment and felt like an update.